December 16th, 2011
Admitting and owning up to my weaknesses is very tough for me. Its tough for a lot of people. Taking ownership of those weaknesses is the very essence and reason this blog exists. One weakness that I had when I was overweight was to hide my emotions and feeling of sadness behind a mask of comedy. I hated being overweight and instead of dealing with the issues of why I was overweight, I dealt with it by taking on a persona of the funny fat friend.
That personification worked for my friends and family. But it really wasn’t working for me. I was able to get by, but I wasn’t improving myself. I knew I wanted more out of life than to be that funny guy that everyone knew was overweight. The more I perpetuated the funny guy, the more ashamed I became of my weight and health. It was difficult to break that mold as everyone loved the funny fat guy….except me.
I lost 50 pounds and haven’t lost my sense of humor. Looking back, I’ve realized that the funny guy persona was less about being funny and more about deflecting thoughts and discussions about my health. It feels great to just be me and not have to develop and live up to a fabricated persona. The one positive aspect that I have taken away from that time in my life is that my friends and family loved me regardless of my outward appearance. They love me the same and will be able to for many more years. That would have been cut short if I continued down my health destruction path.
I’ve left that persona behind, no longer need it. I’m more focused than ever to be myself, be healthy and created laughs well into the future.